Sharing Similar Values & Beliefs!

Sharing similar values & beliefs can be considered the foundation of all relationships. It's what keeps two people together beyond that first date. Consider this: If you go on a first date and you have absolutely nothing in common with them, would you continue to date them? Maybe a few more times to get to know them more, but what if you find out they are totally opposite from you in all your beliefs?

You may want kids, but they don't. You may like to party at clubs, but they don't. You may like to clean up by taking showers, but they don't. Yes, these examples may be a little extreme, but the more we examine our values and beliefs, the more we want to have a partner with similar values and beliefs.

There's an old cliche' that says "opposites attract" and this may be true to a certain point, but even these "opposites" share similar values and beliefs. It's what keeps them together, even if they seem to be opposite in a number of ways. More times than not, the opposites attract rule actually means they compliment each other quite well. They have different strengths and weaknesses that tend to mix well and create a strong team together.

One individual may have a strength in budgeting while the other has a weakness when it comes to spending. They may balance each other out quite nicely where the conservative one keeps the other from spending too much, but the partner that tends to spend gets the conservative one to spend a little more to enjoy life, rather than always saving for retirement. If you are always saving for retirement, you may miss out on making those life long memories. Having a relationship with someone where the two of you balance out each other's strengths and weaknesses can prove to be one of the most important factors in developing a wonderful relationship that lasts many decades. The next time you come across and old couple that has been married thirty, forty or even fifty years, sit down and talk to them for awhile. Ask them questions about themselves and each other. While you are talking to them, take note of the many ways they compliment each other by having different strengths and weaknesses, but still sharing the same values and beliefs.

Decades of research has shown there are core values as well, that tend to lead to successful and wonderful life-long relationships. These core values may be missing in some long term relationships, but then again, not all long term relationships are healthy and successful.

Core Values For A Wonderful Relationship

*Both partners should always be committed to putting the other person first, thereby being committed to their partner's happiness. If each partner is consistently committed to the other person's happiness, then there will never be a question as to if a partner really cares or not. It will be quite obvious to both of them.

*Democracy shall rule the relationship. Dictatorship has no room in a loving relationship and if one person is a dictator, the relationship will eventually end when the other person finally grows tired of being controlled, abused and taken advantage of.

*Always maintain integrity within your relationship. If you consistently maintain integrity within your relationship, then there should be no question as to your trustworthiness. Maintaining integrity builds trust. You must have trust in your partner and your partner must have trust in you. If you give your partner reason not to trust you, or vice versa, then the cracks in your relationship will be exposed, leading to more serious problems down the road.

*Unconditional love should be the standard. Having love based on certain restrictions and limitations will only lead to problems down the road. You should love your partner "regardless" and they should love you the same. as time goes by, you will both grow older. Your physical conditions will change and your mental state may change as well. It's part of life. When most of us marry, it's for better or worse. Unfortunately, many people say for better or worse, but they don't really mean for worse. When things are great, it's hard to imagine "or worse", but if you love your partner unconditionally, the better or worse part doesn't really matter.

*Love with value and respect. You should value your partner in your life and respect them each and every day. Over time, many couple's relationship tends to evolve into one which lacks respect. They tend to take each other for granted and one or both parties may show signs of disrespect for the other. Disrespect can come in many forms such as how they speak to or treat their partner to having an affair. Some people don't appreciate the person they have in their life until that person is no longer there.